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Cartoon Boy | TheDaddyBlogger.comI recently read the article My husband, the perfect mom by Ayelet Waldman and I can say this: I appreciate the honesty.

I try to balance everything with the Wifey (again, whiff-ey) — almost to a detrimental degree. Our son is still under three, so we haven’t moved into some of the more complex scheduling of school, work and sports, so I can only go with the needs of now. I feed him. I bathe him. I put him to bed. I give him his booboo buddy when he needs it. I hold him when he cries. I wash his clothes. I fold his clothes. I put his clothes away. I give him his nebulizer. I build forts with him. I act as his personal gym set. In other words, I try to be an equal.

Do I want a star? Do I think I am special? No. My simple philosophy is that work should be fairly split. I will admit that some things like his laundry (70%/30%) and in particular toe and fingernail clipping (100%/0%) do skew to the Wifey a bit, but that is due at points to personal preference. Translation: I wait until laundry NEEDS to be done, while the Wifey does it when it SHOULD be done. As for the clipping…my son and I share the same level of coordination right now and that will only lead to bloody fingertips and toes.

What do I find interesting? No matter how hard I have tried to be with our son as equally as much as my Wifey…who does he want when he is hurt? Mommy. Which parent gets tears when they leave? Mommy. If given a choice for holding, which parent is chosen? Mommy. Does this hurt my feelings? No, but it is a curiously natural occurrence (I say curious because some moms DESPISE the “nurturer” designation).

Here’s what I do know. Our kids love us for good or bad. They might critique on a grilled cheese that didn’t have the same exact cheese as yesterday and hit us for no good reason, but they love us. They don’t care who washes their clothes or is quicker with the booboo buddy.

I look back to my own childhood and I know that my parents loved me — they just showed it in different ways. Contrary to where the politically correct world is going — different is okay. Some moms breastfeed only and some avoid it entirely. The right answer? None. The norm? Ha! There is no norm. Anytime I here the phrase “supposed to be”, I laugh. No such thing.

So, Thank You Miss Waldman. It is hard to admit that we hold on to some things for selfish reasons, like that need to be wanted. We all feel it at some point and it is hard to let go. As for “unique comfort”, I couldn’t agree more as I have shown above. You are asking yourself “how can I be the BEST parent to my child?” and see only upside in the answer. I would like to think all parents ask themselves this question, but I know this is only a wish and not reality.

Competing with your spouse to be a better parent — seems to me like one lucky kid.

*Blog image courtesy of Image: AKARAKINGDOMS / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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